Behind the Scenes of 'Welcome to Death'
by amber808
Summary: I'll get straight to the point. This story is based on the artwork by amber808 on deviantart aka ME. I've just made up a story behind it, in other words its like behind the set of a movie. That's a way to put things.... i hope you enjoy it.. first story.
1. The End of the New Begining

Behind the scenes of 'Welcome to… Death?'

_Oh by the way, if you're wondering "who the hell is Lala-san?' it's me and yes I'm in the story and so are you! Enjoy! By the way you have to see the picture to fully understand this story. It's on , and the artwork is by amber808_

Lala-san: "Was that REALLY what happened?" *looks at him with curiosity*

Deidara: "Pssh, yeah! That was EXCALY what happened, un!" *looks around with shifty eyes*

Lala-san: "Ok then, explain then why Tobi was found at Military Camp, scrubbing the toilet with HIS toothbrush and a note saying:"

_Dear person or whoever runs this place_

_I want you to take this useless being from my hands and teach him a lesson or two, such as being serious, knock some freaking sense into the little nuisance _of a twit! _Oh if he dies, in the process of this torture, just throw him over a cliff or even better, BLOW HIM TO SMITHERINES!!! YEAH!_

_Signed yours not so truly, Deidara_

_Ps. I 'accidentally' blew up the training ground; it was a work of art._

Lala-san: "Deidara, how can you explain that letter, HOW and WHY Sasori found Tobi at Military Camp and HOW I found the docket for that gravestone you brought with Kakuzu's money?"

Deidara: I umm, Well you see the thing is….. *runs for the hills*

Lala-san: HEY! GET YOUR ASS BACK DOWN HERE!

You: Um, Lala-san are you ok? *looks scared*

Lala-san: *steaming coming out of ears and noses with flaming eyes*Oh yeah I'm ok, WHAT IT TO YA!

You: O.O N-nothing… Just wondering, is all _'If looks could kill I would have been, castrated, lost my arms and legs as well as being feed to a bunch of wild dogs!'_

Lala-san: THOUGHT SO!!!!! SASORI, COME ON WE'RE HUNTING THAT BASTARD DOWN!

Sasori: Ok, just as soon as I finish this. "And the little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home, the end. So what did you think of it?" *looks at dress up puppets* Why won't you answer me!!! I thought we we're friends!"

Puppets: _'Let's give him the silent treatment_, heheeehe'

Sasori: *crying* I thought I had finally made some friends that would understand being a puppet, but NO they just ignore me instead. Good for nothing puppets! *kicks puppets* I'M SORRY! *has emotion breakdown*

You: is it possible for a half puppet half human to have an emotional breakdown?

Lala-san: I _guess _it's possible, I just wish he just stopped crying

You: Lala-san, do _your _thing!

Lala-san:*looks at Sasori and sighs* Pull yourself together man! *slaps him across the face* we don't have time for this nonsense! Deidara's getting away!

Sasori: *sniffs and wipes away tears* Well I can pull myself together but I'm not a man, I'm a puppet!

You: So what you're saying is you can be partly woman?

Lala-san: *giggles* Sasori as a woman! Or maybe Sasori IS a WOMAN!

Sasori: WAIT, A SECOND! LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT, YES I'M A PUPPET BUT I'M A MAN PUPPET!

Lala-san: Sure, Sasori sure. Whatever floats you boat…

Sasori: I am a man, but a puppet!

Lala-san: No you're not

Sasori: Yes I am

Lala-san: No

Sasori: Yes

Lala-san: Yes

Sasori: No and that's my final word! HA!

Lala-san: Thanks for agreeing with me! SUCKER! : D *laughs*

You: I can't believe you fell for that obvious trick! You poor sucker *laughs like a maniac*

Sasori: *foam in mouth* hfue**I**bf;gjfd I a**hate** fkut**you **auft**all**dhdfje

Lala-san: Aw, I love you too *in a honey sweet sickly tone*

You: *rolling on the ground laughing*

Sasori: *in a spaz attack preparing puppets for battle*

You: Anyway, just so I let you know Deidara is probably half way to the leaf village because of the random conversation and agreement you just had.

Lala-san: I wouldn't be worrying too much, I have a tracking device in his- *freezes and covers hand over mouth*

You & Sasori: In his what?

Lala-san: *blushes* N-n-nothing

Sasori: I THINK it at least SOMETHING, to at least make you blush like that!

You: Yeah, I'm starting to agree with the she male puppet here *points to Sasori*

Sasori: *Death glare* Moving back to the part on how Lala-san is tracking Deidara

Lala-san: *sighs in defeat* Fine, fine I'll tell you since you're so eager to know. I put a tracking device in his boxers, I got bribed with money from Hyasa, damnit… *blushes scarlet*

Sasori & You: *Grinning like maniacs* Oooh, you like Deidara don't you?

Lala-san: Pssh, w-why wo-would I like the li-little bugger of a tw-twit, plus he's my _sisters' _boyfriend!

Sasori & You: Sure you don't *grins evilly*

Sasori: 'W_hen we bring Deidara back I'll tell him about this!'_

You: '_I still can't believe Lala-san likes Deidara! XD'_

Lala-san: you know I can read both your minds right now *deadpan stare*

You & Sasori: *shocked* Great the one place we thought was safe D: T.T

Lala-san: I win! Oh to answer your question nothing is safe not even your own body! MUHHHAAA!!!! *goes crazy with evil laugh and forgets to breath*

You: OMG! She's turning blue! Now purple and OMFG! She's going rainbow! Hey Sasori are you recording this!

Sasori: I wish I was, but since Hidan sacrificed my video camera to his god, whatever his name is

Hidan: It's Jashin! And don't you ever forget it you worthless piece of shit!

You: Did you hear anything?

Sasori: nope, I only heard the laughing maniac over there *points to Lala-san* and the whining of the Jashin freak but yet didn't see him, maybe he his finally dead!

You: *starts singing* _joy to the world! Hidan is now dead!!! And I'm have not a clue to why the hell I'm singing the crappy song_

Sasori: *starts singing along* _I don't know why I'm singing to, maybe it suppose to be a musical_

You: _I don't think so, you think you might have a chance, I don't think so! I don't think so_

Sasori: You missed a line, oh my god I've stopped singing!

You: _I damn you to hell!_

Lala-san: *lying on the floor turning rainbow laughing*

You: should be call 911?

Sasori: Nah, she's stilling laughing, and hasn't passed out…

You: Meh, whatever

_And that's the end of chapter one folks, I'll be putting a poll if you want me to write more and if you have any ideas, just message me. _


	2. The Plan: Will it Work or Fail?

Chapter Two:

The Plan: Will it work or fail?

Lala-san: Aren't you all _dying_ to hear my plan? *jumps up and down in excitement*

You: Well _I'm _dying to hear it, and starving *tummy rumbles*

Sasori: "were all dying here waiting to hear this _wondrous plan _of yours"

Lala-san: Ok, well my super awesome random plan is that we track down Deidara using the tracker I placed in his boxers, then we, as in you guys distract him until his guard is down. Then I'll remove all his clay(make him explode it) as well as get him defenceless with a little blackmail bring him back to the hideout and make him do all of my duties. Brilliant isn't it?

Sasori: That's it? The _'Master plan'_? You're so called _ultimate plan_!? Is just a waste of time, I mean couldn't we just hire some assassinator to bring him back here? And hey how come he has to do _your _chores! I don't see why he can't do mine either.

You: Hey, here's an idea, why don't me make him do all of _our _chores!

Lala-san/Sasori: Brilliant!

You: Although in Sasori's plan with _'get someone else to do our dirty work for us'. _I don't think that's a good idea because remember the last time we hired someone to do our _dirty work?_

_**Flashback:**_

_**You: ok here's the mission *hand the guy the scroll with all the information on it***_

_**The Guy: *reads scroll to self* Where's the money? *holds out a hand***_

_**Lala-san: Here, take it. I think that is enough for the job**_

_**The Guy: Plenty *smirks to self* we'll meet back here in an hour.**_

_**You &7 Lala-san: Ok, just go before someone spots you.**_

_**You: Also can you get me an iced coffee?**_

_**Lala-san: make that two!**_

_**The Guy: *annoyed expression* Ok fine *attaches self to the shadows and disappears***_

_**You: Hey Lala-san, Where did you get all that money from?**_

_**Lala-san: Oh just 'borrowed' it from a 'friend' of ours *grins evilly***_

_**One Hour Later:**_

_**Lala-san: *looks at watch* Where is this guy? He was supposed to be here 5 ago!**_

_**You: Well I guess he had trouble with Hidan's laundry, you know with all the blood and how hard is it to find iced coffee. I mean can't the guy just go to the local market and buy some! **_

_**Lala-san: you mean the guy was hired for doing OUR LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!!!And did you forget that his known for assination, like his going to walk in and buy two iced coffee's without getting caught or a gun going 'chick chick BOOM!'**_

_**You: well yeah*sweating a little*and give me a break, remember I'm new to this evil stuff you comes natural to you *points finger in between my eyes***_

_**Lala-san: *breathing fire* Must kill *trying hard not to strangle you***_

_**You: AHHH!!!!**_

_**Lala-san: get back here and take this like Sasori did even I sold his puppet on the black-market!**_

_**End of Flashback**_

You: and that's the story behind the missing laundry

Lala-san: I still can't believe you did that; I had my lucky pair of socks in that laundry! *cries*

Sasori: Wow, I never in my whole life, that I've known Lala-san I have never seen her cry over something and I can't believe you sold my prized puppets on the black-market and yet you didn't share the profit with me!

Lala-san: *sniffles* why should i! You didn't care about socky and his twin!

You: Really? I've seen her cry over a few things and I can't believe you even named the two socks!

Sasori: Really, Really! What were they, in exact detail! And what the F bro? '_Finally blackmail! My revenge, for the she male puppet thing'_

Lala-san: *wipes away stray tears* I thought you would have taken in the valuable information I told you earlier on, I can read your mind Sasori, and I know that _______ won't give out any information on me because I have some photo's of her drunk. Now we wouldn't like those to be put up around the hideout now, would we? Or the video posted on YouTube?*sly smile, grinning from ear to ear*

You: *gulping* n-now, now La-Lala-san, we don't want to jump to conclusions *laughs nervously*

Lala-san: Good, glad we could come to an understanding

**1 Hour later**

Sasori: *holds walkie-talkie to mouth* Ok I've got a lock on the target

You: Yeah I've got a lock on the target too!

Lala-san: *snuggles Ok on the count of three we charge

You: One

Sasori: Two

Lala-san: *snoring and half asleep* what, what oh, THREE! CHARGE! *wobbling as I ran*

You: CHA!! *does hands seals at lightning speed*

Sasori: *summons his puppets* DIE!

Lala-san: *punches the ground*HIYA!!!! *looks around half asleep* Well that or to do it! This has to be one of my finest works yet!*grins in pride*

You & Sasori: Um, I think you went a little over board on that punch…

Sasori: Did you even use charka with that?

Lala-san: Nonsense, why would I need charka when I could just use human strength itself *dusts self off*

You: But look at it! You've completely destroyed the ground! And we were only trying to catch our fricking dinner! D=

Sasori: Great, that or to draw attention, we might be spotted be someone. Nice one Lala-san, what were you thinking???

Lala-san: Oh really? I hadn't noticed and I thought we were capturing Deidara *smiles sheepishly*

You & Sasori: *smacks hand on forehead in annoyance* Why me? Why!!!!NOOOOOO!!!!

Lala-san: Were the hell did my pillow go?

You: Um, over there in the boiling hot lava! *runs for life*

Lala-san: Hey, Sasori can you give me a hand?

Sasori: Why? And what do you mean by hand?*walking over*

Lala-san: Um- Hey look over there! *points to a random place*

Sasori: What the hell are you- Hey! Give me back my hand!!!

Lala-san: *throws hand at lava* sorry I needed something to save my pillow without me getting burned in the process.

Sasori: You risked my hand all for getting a stupid pillow that you can replace easily!

Lala-san: Like you hand and the rest of your body?

Sasori: Point proven

_Well that didn't go as plan, although we were only trying to catch dinner. Plus I was half asleep at the time! Oh and here is what the ground looks like now, but it much worse… Hehe, what can I say I'm deadly while I'__m half awake. =P_


	3. The Dream Scream

Chapter Three: The Dream scream

Late at night

Sasori/ You/ Lala-san: *sleeping and snoring*

Lala-san: *talks to self while sleeping* I want my gummy bear!!! No you can't have it, not until you finish your chocolate Easter bunny! Never! Wait where is that chocolate Easter bunny? I swear I put it right here! Nooooo!!!! *wakes up screaming running into the forest, arm flapping around that looks to be trying to fly*

Sasori: *snoring loudly* -In Sasori's dream-

"_Happy birthday son!" both his mother and father yelled happily while they placed a cake in front of him. "But, I don't want to age and lose my good looks!" Sasori yelled, slamming his fist down onto the wooden table. "Now son, you know the rules. No yelling at the wooden table before bed." Sasori's father insisted, scolding his son for breaking one of his unnecessary rules that didn't make any sense. Pushing the cake away, he stormed off down the hallway into his bedroom. As soon as he was in the safe clutches of his room, he slammed the door and collapsed onto the bed. Staring up at the blank ceiling, he raised his hand reaching for the photo frame that held the photo of his beloved parents and himself as a newborn wrapped up in a cloth, with his mother holding tightly onto him. Not letting him out of her unbreakable arms… Adjusting his position into a seating form on the edge of the bed, letting his legs and feet swig back and forth. Sighing at the picture, he began to think. Thinking extremely hard for what it seems forever, he began to question his knowledge. "I need to think of something that will keep me to be everlasting but yet alive as well as having complete control over myself. Better yet, I could get rid of my emotions, and pain" Sasori murmured to himself, while stoking his smooth skin. An idea popped up in his head, it was perfect and it just might work. But to obtain the right amount of skill and vast knowledge is the key to make this work to his benefits…_

You: *snuggling tightly into your pillow* -In your dream-

_Waking up in a bed with silk sheets and a palace you knew you had to be dreaming. "What? Where the hell am I?" rubbing the back of your head, and began to sit up in discomfort. Stretching your back, you heard the delighted by the noise of sounds that came from your spine. Looking around the oversized room you found yourself fixed upon the balcony. Rushing to see the view that behold behind the curtain, you jumped out of bed onto the soft lush carpet. Stopping for a second for your toes to wiggle around and tangle themselves in the long soft white carpet. You stopped just realising if you continued to wiggle and tangle your toes in the carpet; you may not see them again, along with your purple toenails too. Wrenching your feet out of the carpets grasp, you lunged forward towards the curtains that were keeping you from the view. Pulling, heaving and lastly the amount of effort you had to put in to pull open the door, you finally managed to see the view. Your jaw dropped open, and if it wasn't attached to your mouth if would of dropped onto the floor or even over the balcony, never seeing it again. The green scenery was extravagant, out of the ordinary and looks so cardboard? Stretching your index finger out, you felt something that felt like cardboard, better yet. It was cardboard, pushing the backdrop out of the way. You met face to face with the camera set, lights, crew members and lastly your friends. Garbing hold of the railing on the fake balcony, you flung yourself over the other side. Landing knees bent on the floor. "CUT, CUT AND CUT!" a female shouted from the director's chair. Getting up from her chair, the angry female began to walk up to you; stamping her stiletto heels ever time they had the chance to hit the ground. It felt like an earthquake, 'this woman reminds me of Lala-san when she's having her mood swings' commenting to yourself. Stopping only a metre away from where you were standing, raising a fist in aggravation she pointed to the set and balcony where you pushed the backdrop down. You looked down at the grown, not wanting to look at the woman. "What was that all about? Do you have any idea how long it took for the prop department to put that thing up and make it look realistic!!! NO! Because you have to be the pampered little miss perfect on the fricking show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman screamed in your face, her eyes burning with hate. Looking down all that time really began to hurt your neck, stretching your neck up towards the woman's face. "Look I'm sorry, and really I'm not a pamer-"stopping dead in the middle of the sentence, realising who this woman was, you stared dumbfounded along with your mouth agape wide open. "What's wrong with you? If you're trying to catch some flies, you'll need a jar for that" the woman commented slyly, pointing at your agape mouth. Her eyebrows rose in questioning, waiting to receive an answer. Snapping out of it, you came to your senses that this angry, stressed out woman was in fact Lala-san. It was obvious because of the over use of sarcasm. Slowing backing away from Lala-san, you made a run for it. Sharply turning down random upcoming hallways, you found yourself in the props department. Looking around you realised that you were not alone; there were two other people in the room. "Sasori? Deidara? What are you guys doing here?" you asked, thankful that you knew someone that wasn't going to use your bones as toothpicks. "Well, it's your dream and in your dream I work as a prop maker, like puppets, tools and on special occasions in the makeup area" Sasori commented. "Yeah, Danna's good with makeup, as you can see he wears it every day. I on the other hand, am in charge of the explosives, stunts but mostly explosives, un" Deidara finished off explaining, pointing to himself and some explosives around the room while he talked. "Wow, I must have some weird imagination" you commented lightly, rubbing the back of your head in a sheepish like matter. "Well you got that right, un" Deidara noted to himself, while Sasori just nodded in agreement. "Well I think it about time I woke up from this nightmare" You commented to yourself, but Sasori and Deidara heard you. "Nightmare?" they both chocked out. At that very moment the door was broken open by a leg and then a body slivered through the hole that was newly made. Smirking with a chainsaw in her hands, she charged head on towards you. "AHHHHH!!!" all three of you screamed huddling together. You swore you heard Sasori say "I love you _____" hugging you tightly against him, protecting you from the wrath of Lala-san._

Sasori/you: *waking up to the sound of screaming* what the hell?

You: *looks around* hey, have you seen Lala-san this morning?

Sasori: Nope, and I don't care

You: Well then we better go and investigate who is screaming

Sasori: Why? Can't we leave it until whenever…?

You: No, now get up off your shine wooden ass and help me find Lala-san and who is screaming

Sasori: Can't we just assume that it _is _Lala-san screaming and just leave her to be

You: well you do have a point, she always did have a blood curling screaming that could burst an eardrum or two

Sasori: So we leave her?

You: *deadpan stare*

Sasori: *sighs* I guess that a no

You: good puppet, now find that poor girl or you won't get your wood varnish polish back

Sasori: *Glares* so you're the one who took it, and that's why my ass isn't so shiny anymore

You: Forget your ass and let's begin on our quest to find the poor girl!

Commercial guy: And so, Sasori and ______ set off into the woods to find their friend Lala-san, and rescue her from whatever is making her scream. Note, next time make sure to bring earmuffs. I better write this down.

You: Um, where that voice coming from? Are we on TV?

Sasori: Its some guy that trying to make a business that tells the viewers what going to happen and makes the story more _Dramatic. _

You: So where being filmed? I knew someone was stalking me! HA! Hidan owes me 100 yen! In his bloody face! Literally

Sasori: eh, whatever. Let's go before my but goes back to it planning old self again.

You: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR BUT ALREADY!!!!!! GOD I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT THE CHOP OFF YOUR BUTT AND SELL IT ON THE BLACKMARKET! I'm SURE THEY'LL PAY A LOT OF MONEY FOR IT!

Sasori: *shocked as ever* Omg…wow. I'll just shut up now.

You: Good

Commercial Guy: And as Sasori and _____ walk off into the forest in search of Lala-san, they deeply regretting that they ever shouldn't of come into the forest because th-

You: Do I have to say this again or should I just kill you now?

Commercial Guy: Well what's the better op-

You: SHUT UP! *kills commercial guy* I've had enough of you!

_And so the story continues as my friends come to search for me, in the haunted woods were there shall experience nothing like they shall experience before….MMMMMUUUHHHAAA!!!!!ZIM rules and his laugh does too. Because it sounds exactly like my own! ;p_


	4. Abduction and Argumentation

You: LALA-SAN! LALA-SAN! God, where is she? *avoids a huge spider web*

Sasori: Well it has been only five minutes, but it feels like HOURS!

You: *sigh* well keep looking!

-Lala-san's point of view (My point of view)-

Looking around, I found myself to be in a barely lit moist cave. My eyes wondered everywhere to find the entrance, but there was none? "But how come there is no entrance, there has to be. Unless, no it can't be him" I barely whispered to myself, while wrapping my arms around my legs. "Well, well, well, look who I managed to capture" came a sneering voice from behind me. Their hot breath touching the back of my neck, I shivered in reply. I wasn't scared or anything, I was just worried on who this person is and what they would do to me. Closing my eyes, I began to reach for my pocket with my fingers only in reach of my kunai. Suddenly I found my face slammed to the ground with my right arm bend in an uncomfortable manner. I muttered curses under my breath, struggling to wiggles free of the person grip on my arm. They only twisted it and bend it even more, I was afraid I was going to surrender to this person, something that I would never do. And the consideration that they may snap my arm in half. "Now now, the more you struggle the more pain it will be for the both of us" came a sly replied in my left ear. "What do you mean the both of us? I'm in more pain than you and if I wasn't in this position you're going to wish I was never born!!" yelling wasn't going to solve any of my problems. I caught a snicker of laughter which then turned into poorly concealed fits of laughter. It then clicked, the sly comments, that laughter and lastly the pain for the both of us which I don't get. "Deidara" I growled through my clenched teeth. "Ding ding, ding! We have a winner! Give the pretty girl a prize!" Deidara comment lightly as he let go of my right arm. But instead he sat on my back, which was worse. "DEIDARA, YOU BETTER GET THE HELL OFF ME NOW! Before I decide rip of all your skin and flesh, feed that to Zetsu and use your bones and organs for Hyasa's birthday present that is coming up soon and I may use your skull and heart for target practise" I threaten, giving away that if he didn't get of THAT _will _happen to him sooner than later. "Good luck trying; you know my girlfriend or known as to you, _your sister_ will kill you for that. Especially when it's _her _birthday" retorting to the offhanded comment that managed to get him chuckling. "I don't care if she kills me, because she going to need a really good plan for that" I replied, knowing that I couldn't die. "Oh yeah that's right, your _immortal _just like that Jashin freak_"_ Deidara sneered, adjusting his seating position on my spine, digging one of his elbows right into one of my kidney's. "Deidara get off and I will promise _not _to hurt you for at least until we get back to the others" I promised, hoping that he will fall for my devious trick. "Fine, on _one _condition" he piped in. "And what this condition may be" I said emotionless waiting impatiently. Getting off my spine, I heard something crack and pop back into place. Standing up, I reached out to grab something that could help me to stretch my spine and get up. The only thing was nothing. "Ah!" I yelled, as my face nearly collided with the rock floor under me. I felt a sharp pull at my arm, nearly pulling it out of its socket. "Ow, watch it! I'm in enough pain as it is" I scampered painfully, grabbing onto the figures cloak. "Well then I guess we can't jump from tree to tree" Deidara thought out loud. "We'll take the bird" he agreed, looking over at me with an eye the held mischief. An evil plan developing in his strange blonde mind, struggled to follow Deidara over to his clay bird. Putting a hand on my spine, I knew this was going to be difficult healing my spine while walking. But I had to heal while _flying! _Yeah, talk about mission impossible! This wasn't the way my plan was proposed to turn out! "Ok jump up! And let's find the others shall we, un!" Deidara yelled from on top of his clay creature. "Make me!" I retorted back at him with arrogance. Since my chakra is sealed inside of me, I _borrowed_ or stole some of Deidara's chakra, allowing me to control whatever he makes with his clay. Signalling the bird to take off, Deidara had been caught off guard but managed to regain it quickly. "DEIDARA! GET OFF THE BIRD!" I shouted against the wind. "NEVER! UN!" he yelled back. "FINE! IF YOU WON'T GET OFF _I'LL_ MAKE YOU!" I shouted in reply. Concentrating my eyes on him, I drained out enough chakra that allowed him to lose his balance. Deidara then grabbed onto the birds clay for his dear life. Ordering the bird to do a triple corkscrew, he lost his grip and fell from the bird at last. As he was falling, the zipper from the bag that hung from his waist was opened allowing all of his clay to drop to the ground. "NO!" he shouted in dismay trying to grab some of the clay that was falling. But failed miserably... Deciding it would be best if I blew up all of his clay, so that we wouldn't be able to fly. Using a single-hand hand seal, "Katsu" I shouted while focusing Deidara's stolen chakra into the clay. "What?" Deidara asked, shocked about the newly found technique. BANG! Smoke and flames filled the air and destroyed the area. Since Deidara was still falling to the ground, I might as well help him out. Bending the water in the grass with earth, I created mud. Building up a large tube of mud that was sealed in with earth wrapped around it. From a distance I could see his reaction to this, landing in the mud tube face first was hilarious to watch. As he crawled out of it, he fell a long way down onto the grass that welcomed with his ashes. Laughing as I walked over to him, I could hear yelling a few (in other words _a lot) _fowl word that he was directing straight at me. Stopping a few feet in front of the muddy blonde, I used my earth bending skills to get him off the ground. Stopping him with a hand from getting mud on me, giving me a dirty look he spat out grass and dirt out of his mouth. "Thanks, I just washed my hair today!" he whined in annoyance. "So wash it again tonight" I replied not taking an interest in the blondes distress. "I think not because _you _owe me un!" shoves a mud covered finger in my face. "Fine fine, I'll at least wash the mud of you" I rejected to him, making an offer as so. Controlling water I shot a blast of it at him, knocking him of his feet, falling to the ground. Now instead of a muddy blonde, he looked like a blonde drowned rat. "And this is better how, un?" he asked with bitterness. "At least you won't dry up to be unmovable" I shot back at him, looking to the burning forest. "I suggest we get out here before we end up in ashes". "And since we can't fly on the bird, we now have to walk" Deidara said frustrated, "as well as defenceless" putting a hand inside his clay sack. "Hello, aren't you forgetting something!" I reminded him. "What?" he said oblivious to my pain in my back. "You. Back. Painful. Spine. Can't. Walk" I said bluntly, my eyes dull. "Oh right, I completely forgot about your back, un" Deidara said sheepishly, combing the knots of out his damp hair. "What's new?" I threw back at him. Scowling, he looked to be in deep thought. _Maybe he's having a serious thought for once; maybe he is capable of thinking of the important issues instead of his own problems. _ His scowl turned in a devious looking grin, "_I_ have an _idea_" the words rolling off his tongue. I didn't like what was going through his pyromaniac mind. "You know I still have that condition that you promised to go through, and yet you owe _another _after you blowed by the bird and the rest of _my _clay" he sneered at me, the look in his eyes gave away that this plan of his was to his advantage. My own face held the expression like stone with anger mixed well with annoyance. "Since you can't walk, I'll have to carry you" Deidara's was oviously enjoying making my life hell, with his stupid _so called _games of his. "Which way are you going to have to carry me?" I asked in question. "Well" he leaned in quite close to my liking. "Well it's between over the shoulder or-"his grin grew even bigger than I had ever since! "_Bridal" _the image of that flashed across my mind. I shivered in response, "C-can we have a toss between the two" I managed to stumble across. His grin only widened, even though I thought he was going to lose feeling in his cheeks. "Ok, we'll have a toss. If is heads its _bridal _and if its tails it's over the shoulder" Deidara decided. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a coin, he then flipped it up into the air. Watching, as my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest I watched Deidara catch it and put in on his arm. He hid the coin from my view; the wide grin disappeared from his face. Leaving me smiling, yes that can only mean over the shoulder! "It was heads" Deidara murmured to himself, I only managed to hear it. My grin faded, "LYER!" I accused him. Sighing in defeat, I let him pick me up I only realised that he wasn't carrying me bridal style. _Yes, he's not carrying me bridal style! _I cheered in my head. I suppose I should start to heal my injury.

-Few _long_ Hours later-

I was healed now and didn't need Deidara to carry me anymore. "Deidara" I spoke calmly, eye twitching. I didn't like the way this devious plot of mine had turned out. "Yes?" Deidara replied, with a huge smirk plastered on his face by the fact that he knew that I couldn't hurt him now. Taking in a sharp breath, I looked at the moving ground that crunched under Deidara's feet and _not my own_. Trying to get the lose strands of the blonde's hair out of my face and mouth, and untangle my fingers from the mob of hair. I had no idea how the hair ended up in my mouth, but I guess it was from just saying the name Deidara. Closing my eyes, clenching my teeth together in annoyance I began my rant and my scream for help. "PUT ME DOWN THIS VERY MOMENT! I can walk now!" I screamed kicking his chest, my hands pounding on his back; he just griped my waist tighter. I hated when people invaded _my personal space. _I swear I would hear the sound of metal whenever my hands or feet hit his body. Stilling kicking with my feet, I taped the metal piece that was used as a guard on his back and chest that was used to protect him from violence of my kicks and punches. "Damn you Deidara!" I announced annoyed, thinking out a plan in my head on how to get past the metal. He just chuckled to himself using his other hand to cover his mouth from reviling a smile, shaking his head as he continued to carry me over his right shoulder. "DEIDARA! GOD, CAN SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screamed out to anyone who could hear me.

-Back to You and Sasori-

"Hey do you hear that screaming?" you asked Sasori, who was standing on your left. You turned to face the puppeteer, making sure he had heard your question. Your eyebrows drew down into a 'V' shape, "Sasori, how many times do I have to tell you. DON'T MAKE YOUR PIECES OF _ARTISTIC _CRAP WHEN WHERE ON A MISSION" you screamed, throwing your arms in the air while stamping your foot on the ground, creating a hole and a few cracks. You were not in the mood to be both ignored and tampered with today. A) Because you had to put up with Sasori for hours, with his consistent insults and bickering about his _**precious**_ _art. _B) You didn't get enough sleep because _yet again_ Sasori kept mumbling in his sleep about his stupid plan about making himself _immortal. _And C) You just weren't a very happy chappie this morning, because of your hunger (Sasori had picked worms for breakfast), thirst (You were so thirsty you _nearly _drank some of Sasori's poison used in his puppets) and lack of sleep (like I said before, it's _all Sasori's fault)_. Grabbing the puppeteer by the neck, you pushed him up against the tree. A bit of guard, the puppeteer's eyes held shock, annoyance and lastly the one that surprised you the most. Fear, mainly because he has never been in your bad books, in the matter of fact. Nobody has! But now, you have had enough being the nice person in the Akatsuki. There was a reason you managed to get in, not only by Lala-san's bribery but also on your level of skill and killings. With your eyes aiming daggers, breathing black flames out of your mouth, your grip on Sasori's neck began to tighten as you waited for him to beg for mercy and for the pleading to start. You could feel the vibration that came from his heart that was pounding in/out of his chest. "Ok, ok! Please l-et gg-oo!" Sasori struggled to plead as his windpipe was slowly being crushed. "Not until you have suffered as much as I have these past few days" you replied emotionless, but anyone could tell you hided murder in your voice. "What do you mean?"-He gasped for breath-"I have done nothing to you!" Sasori gasped for as much oxygen, while he quickly asked his question. "You know exactly what I mean! _You_ have caused me so much pain that I cannot bare it any longer!" you blurted out, a scowl painted smoothly onto your face. "Please" -chocking on his last breaths for life- "I promise I'll make it up to you" Sasori managed to sharply reply, his breath becoming hoarse and dry. You began to loosen your grip around his neck, looking at him with question. "Really now?" an evil and sincere glint in your eyes gave it away. "Well, let the _indebt payment _begin!" you shouted joyfully, your eyes glittering with happiness and revenge plotting. Turning back to Sasori, you laughed at his twitching mouth and eye because it was change from his usual calm face or otherwise known as his _mask _that he uses for hiding.

_Well wasn't that an interesting chapter? Yes, no? Anyway, if you have notice well done! If not well then you're just blind. For those people how are slow and have not a clue what I am talking about, I am referring to my change in writing_


	5. Revenge Platter For Two

Chapter 5:

Revenge platter for two

"Sasori feed me! Then get me my tanning lotion" you ordered, adjusting your sunglasses and taking a sip of sake. "Coming master!" came an instant reply, while you could hear panting followed not too far behind. "I can't believe I agreed to this tour-"before he could finish, he was interrupted by you clearing your throat and the tapping of your nails on the sake bottle. Demanding attention, you loudly cleared your throat. It made you sound like you were choking. "I don't hear you struggling to walk!" you shouted over your shoulder, sneering as he mumbled curses that meant no harm to you. _If I ever survive this, first thing that I'm going to do is make her into one of my 298 collection of true art. _And then – "SASORI! I'M BURNING HERE!" you snapped at him, reaching for the shock collar remote. Pressing the button, you heard the yelling and pleading coming from Sasori. Getting out of your sunbaking chair, you strutted over the smoke and the wooden figure that lay on the ground. Looking down, you raised an eyebrow in amusement with a smirk plastered to your face. "Sasori, this isn't the time for you to be sunbaking. Plus, _you _can't sunbake or tan. Otherwise, well to put it bluntly I'll need some marshmallows and a stick or two for the campfire will be having!" you shouted, your voiced filled with mocking sarcasm. "Well, you would be the perfect meal for Zetsu I must say plus if he doesn't want you I could always. Wait no, no I don't want to spoil the _surprise_" Sasori coolly replied also you could see a smirk forming on the edge of his mouth. "Oh _do tell_" you venomlly spat, your mouth slowly curling into a smile, leaning down upon the puppet slave. "Why should I tell you the surprise? Unless it happens to be _your_ birthday" he commented coolly, pushing himself of the ground to face you. "Because _I am _your master until I fell like the _debt_ is payed to _my _satisfaction" you retorted back with annoyance. A nerve in his jaw ticked, _Ha! You can hide forever behind that fake mask of your! _You shouted in your head, you inner self rubbing you hands in plotting sort of way. Your eyes met each other both showing hate towards the other. But it seems that only one can win this staring contest and the big question is_ 'Who will win?' _The staring contest went on for about 5 minutes. Your eyes were hurting and you could hardly see anything, it was all a blur. You could take this anymore! You blinked, sighing in relief that you could see clearly. Randomly this particular song popped into your head, and you couldn't help but sing. "_I can see clearly now that the rain has gone" _you sang in tune and on key. You stopped realising that is the only part of the song that you know. "An excellent singing performance one might say, but I on the other hand think it was _amateur level" _Sasori implied, gesturing towards you then himself, making it seem that he knows _everything. _Frowning in response, you pouted your bottom lip and huffed, turning to face away from the red head. In the corner of your eye, you could see him give you an inquisitive stare. It was starting to freak you out a little, being watched by someone for a long period of time made you uncomfortable. Heaving out a sharp breath, you instantly snapped. "What is wrong with you? All you ever do is staring at me like I'm some object of your interest!" You snapped, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Honestly, now I've had it! Do whatever you want and I will not care because all you seem to do is turn them into your advantage!" he just stared, not making any sudden moves or talking, urging you to continue to your point that you were trying to make. "And the point is that I-"you suddenly froze, a clicking noise to the right of you. Looking back at Sasori, his expression looked unreal and inhuman. _Well I mean sure he's a puppet and all and doesn't need to show emotions, doesn't mean he has to act like one _you muttered to yourself in your head. Knocking you out of your thoughts was a gush of cold wind, blowing your ginger hair into your eyes and in front of your face. Blocking you from seeing anything, just then you heard the clicking noise again but this time it was closer. You shivered and the cold harsh wind hit you again, you wrapped your arms around your body. "Oi, Sasori can you hear that clicking noise?" you asked blindly, trying to push your hair out of your eyes. "Oh cause I can" you heard his sweet voice whisper to you. You could almost hear his soft breathing, actually he did sound quite close, and in the matter of fact you could smell a fresh coat wood varnish. That's strange; I thought he was way over there. Realising something was wrong, "Um Sasori what are you doing?" you asked nervously, fidgeting with your hands. "Nothing, but inspecting my _**newly found art**_" he replied coolly, a smirk playing on his mouth. "What do you mean _newly _found art?" I asked angrily, trying yet again to regain your sight. "Well, you said that you wanted to know the _surprise, _instead of telling you of the _surprise _I have installed for you, I have come to the conclusion of _showing you" _you heard the dark chuckling coming from the puppeteers throat. The wind finally stopped blowing your hair in front of your face, just in time to see what was going on. Your eyes went wide, seeing the metal spike come straight towards your heart. You had just had enough time to react, jumping out of the way. Your mind went racing, with the thoughts of _Why is he trying to kill me and turn me into a puppet? _"Sasori, why are you trying to kill me?" you shouted, as you jumped from tree to tree, avoiding the poisonous needles that were being shot at you. Reaching for a scroll, you managed to summon your two katana's, swinging them towards any needled that came close to your body. _I have no idea how long I can keep this up, _you thought in your head. "Because I want revenge!" Sasori/Hirukosmirked at you, firing a large spike from his mouth. The sound of dark evil laughing filed the air and rang through your ears. Reflecting the spike with one of your kanta's, you then charged the kanta with lightning chakra. Throwing the kanta down into the ground, you then did a couple of hand seals. A ring of lightning surrounded both you and Sasori, forming a cage. He looked around the cage, obviously trying to find any weaknesses. "There are no weaknesses to this cage" You said, twisting your left wrist. As you twisted your wrist, you were adding spikes and hidden traps to your lightning based cage. "Interesting technique, I must comprehend to you but what advantages does it give you in battle against me?" Sasori implied. "Because I know that _you _don't use wind based attacks that can penetrate this barrier. Also in case you _haven't _already noticed, I've tapped into your brainwaves and nervous system or in your case _string system _or whatever you wish to call it. Allowing me to control what you do and know what your next move is…" You heard a shocked gasp from the inside of the puppet, "Well I didn't expect that from you _________" Sasori growled angrily at you. Your grin just grew bigger by the minute, flicking two of your fingers you made Sasori get out of his puppet shield like thing. "You're using no chakra whatsoever aren't you?" Sasori asked through clenched teeth. "Well no, I'm only using a small amount" you threw an offhand replied, making a fist with your hand. Sasori instantly lost consciousness, falling to the ground like a pile of chopped wood. Sighing you walked over to the puppeteer, seeing if you managed to not kill him although you wish you did. Placing a hand over his chest, you felt the thumping in his wooden chest, carefully avoids the scorpion filled tail that was coiled around were he's liver, stomach, pancreas and intestines should be. Lifting the man that attempted to kill you over your shoulder, you spirited off further into the woods. Flying, well more like jumping from tree to tree, your eyes wondered for a place to stay and rest up. Your eyes caught sight of a river near a cave, wear two familiar figures stood fighting near a campfire. _Deidara and Lala-san, _the two names fluttered into your mind like two evil possessed butterflies. Jumping down onto the ground, you laid the red head down, your eyebrows knitted together with annoyance and impatience. "This is your entire fault!" I cried, positioning a kunai on Deidara's fringe threatening to cut it off. "Yeah I'm the one who blew up _somebody else's _clay, un!" Deidara shot back, head locking me. "Well I'm not the one who burned all of the food I searched for in the damn campfire!" I shouted, about two seconds away from strangling him with his own hair and feeding his eyes to a couple of birds while I would steal the birds eggs and eat them for breakfast. "Well it's your fault for distracting me, I thought you were going to ta-"he stopped yelling after realising the giant thunderstorm with lightning right behind you. "Holy shit" Deidara whispered. I didn't notice of the incompletion of Deidara's rant. "What are you staring at? You look like you're seeing death before your eyes" I laughed, hitting Deidara in the chest. Turning to look around, my eyes met with your own. My eyes widened at the scene, and there is where it all black out for me. The only thing I could remember is you shouting Deidara and then myself with a lightning bolt. Not causing death, but just blacking out into a dream that was pitch black and full of nothing. While you on the other hand, heaved all of our bodies into the shade of a nice tree. That you didn't know what a wasps nest, a very large one at that. You then decided you rest from the rest of day, you are a light sleeper so can sense the enemy from a mile away. Sleeping peacefully, you thought about how tomorrow will turn out for you and the many strange adventures that have not yet happened but soo will. Well _you _think it will…


End file.
